The Sacred Meeting

I have nothing to do but fall in love.

The passionate wakings of my heart desire to keep, to enfold every human being within its infinite well.

I have only love for you.

In your shock, in your devastation, in your silent unheard longing for a reason, any reason at all.

I am here for you.

I cannot understand a hardened mind but love can penetrate, creeping, and find the vulnerability of a separated soul. Lost and alone and in desperate need of release from its self-evident constriction.

Let me take you inside me. Inside my energetic structure, far beyond bodily or physical concerns. Let me take you into me. Penetrate my deepest longing to communicate with what I have held outside myself.

Let me let you inside.

Where we meet in gentle recognition of Self-hood conflict is forever loosened, the rusted grievance lubricated and released, nothing holds us together in solitude and anguish anymore.

We can meet in gratitude.

We can meet in certainty.

We can meet, we can only meet, in love.

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The Dream is Over

Yesterday I had an experience that I would like to share with you. I was asleep and dreaming. (Now I am asleep and dreaming that I am at my keyboard writing a blog post, but yesterday I was asleep in bed within the dream, dreaming!!) It was raining outside, and suddenly I realised it was also raining inside the room, that water was pouring down near the walls and everything was getting soaking wet. I went into crisis mode of ‘Ok, disater is occuring, what do I do, where’s the hatch onto the roof, how do I stop this happening, how did it happen and why?’… And then… I woke up.

What did I do when I woke up? Did I continue to try to solve the problem as it had been presented to me a moment previously? Did I assert that my fabrication was really happening and continue to try to discover a solution? Did I ponder over how this could possibly have happened and why things of value to me were being destroyed? NO!!! I recognised that what I thought a moment previously had been happening had not occured. I realised that what I had experienced within the dream was not real, and had never happened. I understood in a second that the disaster I had seen occur was a fabrication of a mind asleep – my mind asleep. It didn’t need me to think about it or try to understand it or solve it in any way. Any time spent on pondering its cause or its solution was going to be wasted time, spent on something entirely ridiculous and unneccesary.

“The world you see [in front of you and all around you, right now] has nothing to do with reality. It is of your own making, and it does not exist.”

“Sit quietly and look upon the world you see, and tell yourself: ‘The real world is not like this. It has no buildings and there are no streets where people walk alone and separate. There are no stores where people buy an endless list of things they do not need. It is not lit with artificial light, and night comes not upon it. There is no day that brightens and grows dim. There is no loss. Nothing is there but shines, and shines forever’.”

This is what forgiveness is: being still and letting your Father show you what is real. In this moment of awakening it is as obvious that your body-identity in space and time has never happened as it was to me when I awoke that the dream was not real. The light that you are shown in your mind entirely dispels all your ideas of a separate identity. The light you are given and that you join with is so clearly your own identity, and is so obviously the thing for which you have always, always been searching; it nourishes you so deeply and so fully, it reaches places in your soul that you had given up ever being reached by anything; it fills you with a clarity and a joy so rich that you understand in a second that that deep nourishing beauty is what love is, what God is, and what You Are, and in that holy instant you are free from all dreams of disaster. There are no more questions in your mind, no more analyses and no more attempts to solve your problem and thus hold onto it. You are free. The question of your identity, your cause, has been answered, and as all questions and problems come from this one core delusion, all of them are gone as one.

“There is a light in you the world can not perceive. And with its eyes you will not see this light, for you are blinded by the world. Yet you have eyes to see it. It is there for you to look upon. It was not placed in you to be kept hidden from your sight. This light is a reflection of the thought we practice now. To feel the Love of God within you is to see the world anew, shining in innocence, alive with hope, and blessed with perfect charity and love.

Who could feel fear in such a world as this? It welcomes you, rejoices that you came, and sings your praises as it keeps you safe from every form of danger and of pain. It offers you a warm and gentle home in which to stay a while. It blesses you throughout the day, and watches through the night as silent guardian of your holy sleep. It sees salvation in you, and protects the light in you, in which it sees its own. It offers you its flowers and its snow, in thankfulness for your benevolence.

This is the world the Love of God reveals. It is so different from the world you see through darkened eyes of malice and of fear, that one belies the other. Only one can be perceived at all. The other one is wholly meaningless. A world in which forgiveness shines on everything, and peace offers its gentle light to everyone, is inconceivable to those who see a world of hatred rising from attack, poised to avenge, to murder and destroy.

Yet is the world of hatred equally unseen and inconceivable to those who feel God’s Love in them. Their world reflects the quietness and peace that shines in them; the gentleness and innocence they see surrounding them; the joy with which they look out from the endless wells of joy within. What they have felt in them they look upon, and see its sure reflection everywhere.”

I thank my Father eternally for the experience I am given that shows me that nothing in this world is true. I give thanks for His Grace, which in this holy instant dissolves my world entirely and reminds me unequivocally of my identity in the Heaven of His Mind. I recognise in this instant that the world is a fabrication of a mind asleep – my mind asleep; that it is my responsibility to release it through the experience of its unreality and the true vision that comes from that experience. Thank you Father for my job, and for making it possible, where without you it would be impossible indeed.

Master Teacher Reminds Me I Am Space

I had a beautiful experience with Master Teacher during our recent retreat in La Finca de Milagros near Benitachell in Spain. Tim played us the video ‘The Presence of God is Shining in me Now’, (workbook lesson 188 in A Course in Miracles), from Master Teacher’s ‘Illuminate Mind-Training’ Series. It is an incredibly powerful video, where the Master demonstrates clearly his own perfect certainty of universal reality and his own identity as that.

I was standing up, with my eyes closed, receiving a joyful exposure to the light of truth that Master Teacher’s mind emits. The joy is always in opening myself fully to the energy that is being transmitted by the mind that is teaching. That energy is powerfully transformative and awakens and activates my own desire to be with God, to be whole and totally immersed by and nourished in the gloriously rich and infinite expansion of His Heart and Mind.

In an instant I was given a deeper availability to join my mind with that of the Master and in that moment he was with me and he entered me physically, as in, his body stepped inside mine. I received a very gentle knowledge that we are the same thing; there is one body, one mind, only one thing actually occurring in all the apparently infinite complexity of space and time. The one thing that is occurring is mind coming home to itself, and the mind that is coming home to its Father’s grace and presence and joy is mine.

I felt the intimacy and tenderness with which the mind of Christ is offered through a whole mind in a clear declaration of its whole self, and of that one Self becoming one with me: that apparent separate body entering mine and showing me that we are the same.

In the next instant I was shown that we were out in space. I lifted my arms and swung them around a little and realised the stars were all around me! I was out in space with Master Teacher, being shown that I am him and I am space and I am the entire universe.

A short while later the video finished and we had a ‘light session’ with music – an opportunity to stand in the light with your brother and experience the joy of whole mind being itself with no distractions of the human mind. It is a time to be still and allow all the energy of the teaching session to release in a moment of genuine direct contact with your Father. Though I had opened my eyes and moved around I was still very much in the deep and very gentle super high frequency of light with the Master Teacher and as I stayed with him I believe I had my first real experiential understanding of what it is to be deeply in contact with myself.

I was deep, deep within, the world outside of me was irrelevant, though perfectly lovely and safe. Energetically it felt like I had fallen back and down, into a space just below my belly. My mind was not aware of the limits of my body identity. My physicality was shared completely with the space around me, the wall that the Son of God has built to enclose his separate self (A Course in Miracles, ‘What is the Body?’) was not in my awareness. My self is space and I was fully in contact with that reality.

The experience was one of richness and beauty and grace. The feeling of completely accepting everything that was occurring ‘out there’ in my perception lasted a couple of days. I was so deep in the safety and peace of my Father’s knowledge of me that nothing occurred around me that could upset that. My perception was whole, because my centre was so secure. I knew that I am the centre of my experience and that I am totally responsible for putting out there exactly what I want to see. And because my only desire was to experience grace, I perceived only joy. It was an experience of vision, of seeing truly, from the one true standpoint of acceptance of my whole Self; and the perception of beauty that is allowed or extended from the mind that is experiencing that state.

This experience is added to my storehouse of treasures, to the pile of bright references that give me stronger and stronger confidence in the value of the path that I am engaged in and the association that I have with my brothers who share the need that I have to be closer and ever closer to the Father of all creation.

‘I am not a body, I am free, for I am still as God create(s) me’ here and now! (Workbook lesson 199, A Course in Miracles). Thank you Master Teacher, for your deep certainty of Self that allows me to experience my own. And thank you Father, for bringing me home to you, in ongoing experiences of the safety, security and tenderness of your everlasting love.

Finca Retreat May-En

See Tim Christopher’s calendar of upcoming events in the UK, US and Europe here.

Popping In and Out: The Expression of the Holy Instant

From chapter 17, section 5 of A Course in Miracles: “The holy relationship is the expression of the holy instant in living in this world. Like everything about salvation, the holy relationship is a practical device, witnessed to by its results. The holy instant never fails. The experience of it is always felt. Yes without expression it is not remembered. The holy relationship is a constant reminder of the experience in which the relationship became what it is.”

My experience of the beauty of my holy relationship with you: I’m going to be with you now and forever in our joyful union of mind and let the beautiful love that is your identity, which is God, nourish me eternally to the very nucleus of each single cell of my physicality and beyond to the atomic structure of my being, where I share the same space with you and all the universe of life, and I and we and it are popping in and out of existence and through the veils of multi-dimensionality continuously!

Amen.

Resurrecting Body, Enlightening Mind

I am here, this Easter time, in the full and grateful recognition of the resurrection of my body and the enlightenment of my mind. These ideas are not separate or apart – the resurrection of mind is the enlightenment of the body structure – the experience of the quantum self. The body form is released entirely in the light of true vision that disperses doubt forever. And finally, finally, FINALLY – I am not wanting to receive, to get, but to give. I am finally able to accept the teaching that what I give to myself is given to my brother, and in my love for him I want only for him to experience the truth that I have been given. And here, finally, is the motivation that I needed in order to allow myself the recognition and experience of the truth.

Jesus is here with us in the process of the dissolving of the small self. He is here because when he awoke and resurrected he had nowhere else to go! His resurrection WAS his declaration that he would be here, with us, helping us in this, until it is over – until the end of time. His resurrection was his demonstration of that declaration. The two are inseparable, they are the same thing. One cannot occur without the other.

“My resurrection comes again each time I lead a brother safely to the place at which the journey ends and is forgot. I am renewed each time a brother learns there is a way from misery and pain. I am reborn each time a brother’s mind turns to the light in him and looks for me. I have forgotten no-one.” (from introduction to review 5, Lesson 171, A Course in Miracles)

My One Fundamental Need

Your one fundamental need is to know your own identity. Nothing but this will give you lasting happiness, and nothing but this will bring you real peace. But this knowledge, firmly kept within the shining awareness of your own mind, cherished and adored within your own heart, and extended to all who you meet or think of, will protect you from all thoughts of lack or of pain or of grief. And through your focus on this knowledge, and the extension of it, its perfect certainty will grow in you.

You are the light. There isn’t anything else that you could possibly offer your brother or your self, but this certain knowledge. Your light is the light of this world. It is the releasing factor, it is the power that brings rememberance of your Father’s love to all who seem to inhabit this strange place of seeming differences and separate ideas. What do you want? Do you want to know yourself as you are created, this moment, in the glorious and infinite extension of your Father’s love?

“To extend is a fundamental aspect of God which He gave to His Son. In the creation, God extended Himself to His creations and imbued them with the same loving Will to create. You have not only been fully created, but have also been created perfect. There is no emptiness in you.” (ACIM T:2:1)

It is your function to feel, to acknowledge, and to express the fullness of the experience of God. Despite your own meaningless desires to be separate! Despite any and all thoughts of death that may arise in your mind. It is your JOB to ‘pluck’ them! To notice them, to recognise them as the opposite of truth, of sanity and of love, and to declare your decision to be with your Father in truth. Where else would the work be? Where else but right here, right now, in my own mind?

My Father is completely present with me in my own mind. His creation never stops, and never sleeps. His creation IS what this eternal present IS. And there is no separation between my mind and His. There is no point where the Father stops and the Son begins – creation is continuous. Mind is continuous. There is no separation between us.

“The might of God’s teachers lies in their gentleness, for they have understood their evil thoughts came neither from God’s Son nor his Creator. Thus did they join their thoughts with Him Who is their Source. And so their will, which always was His Own, is free to be itself.” (M4:IV)

This is my fundamental need: to ‘join [my] thoughts with Him Who is [my] Source’. To be as I really am, in truth. To be ‘as God created me’, (L162 eg.) or as God creates me, right here and now, in the glorious extension of illuminate beauty and truth. There is a whole universe of beautiful light, waiting, JUST beyond the edge of the decision to have an experience of separation. And through joining my mind with this Mind of pure light that is all that is, I can be the Will of God!.. Which is my own will.. eternally creating.. eternally changing and changeless in an ever-growing dynamic expansivity that emanates throughout the entire universe!

I am mind. But I am not separate mind. I am not the mind that sees a world outside of itself – that separates itself from everything through the projection of guilt and attack. That is not what I am. And as part of learning what I am, the need is always to look upon what I am not. It is given me to look upon my ‘evil thoughts’, WITH the light of my Father’s Mind, and let Him shine them away; let Him SHOW me, through an ACTUAL EXPERIENCE of heaven – of wholeness – of light, that none of them are true. And that the mind that could conceive of separation, of bodies and of violence and of lack, CANNOT exist, if my Father does. The world that I see is NOT the representation of loving thoughts – but its total opposite. And loving thoughts exist in the mind of God – which is my mind – and I can receive them, and let them take me home to my true identity in Him. How gentle, and beautiful, that is! Thank you, Father, thank you for your reality, and thank you for the complete unreality of what I made to defy and deny you – an experience of separate mind, death, and fear, which I have propagated through the use of judgement, exclusion, rejection, and the projection of guilt and attack.

“A lesson is miracle which God offers to me, in place of thoughts I made that hurt me. What I learn of Him becomes the way I am set free. And so I choose to learn His lessons and forget my own.” (L213)

God releases you through your thoughts. The same mechanism you used to imprison yourself in a world of linear time. The miracle occurs within your mind. The miracle IS accepting God’s answer, God’s thought, in place of the one you made to imprison yourself. Your choice to BE the miracle, to be a miracle-worker, to be the gentleness of a teacher of God, to be set free.. is your decision to listen to and be with the voice of God in your own mind. It’s the decision to let all thought leave you but the one He is giving you, to comfort, heal, and bless. It is the decision to surrender entirely to the depth of the grace of His care and His love for you. It is the decision to RECEIVE His truth, so that you can naturally and with no effort whatsoever GIVE that loving knowledge of light and peace and beauty to everything that seems to exist within your mind.

So what is my one fundamental need? To know myself, as God creates me now; to know myself as wholly loving, wholly inclusive, wholly singular; to know myself as the effortless extension of the love that is the instrument as well as the symphony of creation; that is the limitless power to transform and heal the separate mind and take it home to the certainty and the peace of its own loving emancipation.

The Indescribable Joy of Being Space

Today, I woke up with the acute awareness that I am pure space; that nothing in physical form exists.

“I am not a body, I am free.”

(ACIM L199).

I’m space, I’m light, I’m extension, I’m expansion. And of course, these are all just words.. ideas.. they’re all definitions, but I don’t mean them like that. If you can hear those words on an experiential plane, if you can receive them energetically; soak them up on a cellular level, then you can hear what I’m saying… you can allow in what I’m attempting to communicate.

The wonderful thing about space is that it’s always moving. There’s a gentle pulsing from my core. At the very centre of my being there’s a gentle pulsing outwards. And it occurs to me that if I’m space, if my body is really a quantum experience rather than a physical one (as is clearly true at this frequency of awareness, at this frequency of mind), what that means is that A Course in Miracles is completely true.

It’s true (in my present personal experience) that there is no world: that there’s only peace, and infinite peace, because space goes on forever, and that’s what my mind is. And the desire to fit myself into an identity in space and time begins to leave me, as I give myself this true experience more and more. And as I give it to myself more and more, I become less attached to everything in the world, because I recognise that this place – this state of mind, is my true happiness, my true purpose: “the state of mind in which the only purpose of the world is seen to be forgiveness.” (ACIM T:C30:S5)

So we can touch on the idea of ‘forgiveness’ for a moment, from this purely expansive experiential state: “Forgiveness recognises what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred.” (ACIM pre-L221) Forgiveness also recognises that your brother does not exist as separate from you. We can even go a few steps further than that: forgiveness is the recognition that there is only mind, and mind cannot attack, and therefore does not need to be pardoned: mind can only extend itself to itself. And from this frequency of thought, from this place in mind in which I find myself, this is an experiential and completely present occurrence.

I have to pause every moment; I have to just pause and let the light offer me the words! The words that I’m using are not coming from conceptual mind, they’re not tight. They’re not part of a contraction of mind. I’m not looking for them and trying to grasp them; instead they are given; they are received. They are a part of this experience of expansion; of pure release. They are feeding it, they are nourishing it, they are creating it. This is my time with God. This is what God is. In whatever form it may manifest, and it is not necessary for it to manifest in any form at all, the practice of extension of mind; of true ideas; of this eternally expansive light; of this quantum experience of existence… this is what links me with Creation, with all of Heaven, and thus with the memory of my Father’s Love.

“God is the light in which I see.” (ACIM L44) God is the light in which I see that this world does not exist. God is the light in which I see that I don’t exist. God is the light in which I see the benefits of releasing my entire separate self-identity: the benefits to me, personally, individually. You won’t do this without that. It feels nice! In the end, it gets to be that simple. Why do you give up everything and go home to your Father? Because it feels nice! And because it’s simple. It’s the most simple thing there is. Because it’s the only thing there is.

The intense contraction and complexity (which are the same thing) of conceptual thought (which is the same thing as the world); the intense pain of that contraction; the intense pain of trying to fit yourself into a fractured distortion of yourself; your misguided attempt to be just one character on the stage, when actually you’re the universe in which the stage is set; this, this is the insanity of separate human mind.

What the light is doing on a cellular level, as you receive its ‘enlightenment’, as you relax and feel its joyful expansion; its gentle rippling grace: is undoing you. It’s undoing your self-concept. But really, from where I’m standing in my mind, what I’m experiencing right now is the recognition that there is no undoing. There is no undoing, because what you think was done, was never done. It was a story you were playing to yourself in your own mind, like a tape recorder. The story of Holly Thomas! ‘I wonder how this is going to work out; what’s going to happen with that person; do I have a grievance; is there some conversion I need to do; I wonder when this will happen, am I blocking it’, all the doubts, and uncertainty about myself that are the thoughts of my conceptual mind that I use to stay in time; that I use to stay in an experience of self-identity, which is what time is. All that needs to be undone is my thoughts, my perception of myself, my perception of my identity. All that needs to shift is my awareness, from what is false, to what is true. From the falsity of form to the light and truth of whole consciousness fully present NOW. That is all!

I am so grateful. I am so grateful that my former decision to be in time is being undone. Through this receiving of its opposite. It’s a state of mind. Hell is a state of mind, same as heaven is. There is nothing but state of mind: there is no world outside of you. My current experience of this truth is a fizzing, or a buzzing sensation; it’s like a sparkler sometimes, igniting. Like sparks. Sparks of light. And it’s subtle. It’s gentle. It’s approaching and availing itself to you all the time. It’s offering itself to you! It’s available.. right now. Only, right now.

This ‘spiritual awakening’ (to use a term that’s bandied around so much) is coming to the realisation and recognition in your own mind through your own personal, individual experience, that your mind is all that there is; that the only experience you want is the one of this present moment, this core of light that is your very being, and the glorious and infinite extension of that throughout all universes. That is your purpose, that is your dedication, and that is your teaching, that is what you teach.

And it doesn’t matter what it looks like here. I cannot stress that enough. It just does not matter. If you’re rich, or if you’re poor; if you’re fat or if you’re thin; if you’re intelligent or if you’re stupid; if you do yoga or you don’t do yoga… it makes absolutely NO difference. These concepts about  yourself, these ideas that you hold about a physical identity in space and time, ARE your denial of this experience of pure light. And you do become less attached to them. And your roles, your roles as a mother, or a daughter or an employee or an employer, the roles that you hold.. everything just gets LOOSER. It doesn’t mean you leave your children to go and do this somewhere else. It doesn’t mean that you quit your job or that you close down your business. All it means is that you become determined to remember that you’re free! You become absolutely determined to remember that you’re free. That you are not contained in a dense layer of conceptual thought that you call ‘your body’. You are not contained in a fabric, in a network, in an atomic structure of hydrogen, carbon, oxygen and nitrogen. You are not that thing. You are not that concept. You are this light. You are this core of being-ness! We could just say you are! Fullstop. No explanation or description required or possible.

So this is where we come to in our minds. We come to a place, in time, where we stop, and we begin to think on an atomic level. And these are not really thoughts, they’re not thoughts like you’re used to having, because they’re not conceptual, they’re not about things. That’s what a conceptual thought is, that’s what a concept is. It has to be about  something; it has to be objective. And what I am experiencing, and therefore what I’m teaching (because that’s the same thing) is singular subjective reality. What I am teaching, is that self is whole. It encompasses the entire universe. It is not separate and alone. It is not isolated from anything.

This occurrence that is happening within me is alive, vibrant and pure. And it’s got nothing to do with you, and everything to do with you, because I meet you here, I see you in my mind. I have one precious brother in my mind at this moment, she’s right here with me. The love of your brother, the love of your fellow, is actually all that you are. From this space of perfection and beauty, from this state of mind, you will understand at last that all he could really ever be, is love, along with you.

So to re-cap and to offer you the full and glorious extension of my whole and perfect mind that I share with you, here and now, out of time…!:

I am aware that I am space. I am aware of myself on an atomic level. I am aware of the vibrations of my atomic structure. I can HEAR them. I can feel them. It is delicious. 🙂

This moment I wake up and I know that I am space.

Each time I stop and stand still for a moment and let my mind sink down to a bodily awareness, my consciousness expands outward from however far down I’ve let it go. And at its core is light; the centre of a galaxy. Energy pulses outwards gently from this core.

Now all that is necessary is to let my mind – my tiny, thinking, conceptual self – go:

“Pause and be still a little while, and see how far you rise above the world when you release your mind from chains, and let it seek the level where it finds itself at home. It will be grateful to be free a while. It knows where it belongs. But free its wings, and it will fly in sureness and in joy to join its holy purpose. Let it rest in its Creator, there to be restored to sanity, to freedom and to love.”

(ACIM L128)

And I am home.

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The thing that’s so beautiful is that having this experiences is how you give; this is how you extend truth into the dream of your association and how you actually transform the images that seem so real into pure light. This is how you heal.

“His lilies do not leave their home when they are carried back into the world. Their roots remain. They do not leave their source, but carry its beneficence with them, and turn the world into a garden like the one they came from, and to which they go again with added fragrance. Now are they twice blessed. The messages they brought from Christ have been delivered, and returned to them. And they return them gladly unto Him.”

(ACIM L159)

Thank you for reading… I love you… and WELCOME HOME!!! 🙂